The Importance of Father's Input in Child Discipline

Early enough in my marital life, even before the children started coming, l observed that hubby was the type who is so soft-hearted that he doesn't want to hurt a fly, so there will be a tendency for those around him to take him for granted.

When the children started coming, especially from the first one, hubby was so enarmoured that he went shopping for both needed and unneeded items for the much cherished first son. Ordinarily, when you talk of an impulsive buyer, hubby has Grade A1. So when he bought stuff enough to last the baby for over a year, l wasn't surprised.

As the children came, especially the first three, l observed that if l didn't tie my oja well, the children will climb on our heads and shit on them, so, the fights began.
One thing a couple should realise very early in their marriage is UNITY in all disciplinary matters relating to their children.This is because children are very observant. They easily note the parent that is weak and more sympathetic to their cause, so they try to penetrate that one and use him or her against the other. This is one area where, if the couple is not careful, their children will put them asunder.

One luck l had was that, even though hubby was the pampering type, he never interfered when l am dealing with the children. He will sit in one corner and be chanting, "good for you. I think you don't want to hear word? Deal with him very well". 😂😂😂
Then later, when we have retired for the night, in the privacy of our room, he will tell me in a calm voice, Haji, you see ba, if you wan follow this children how Dem dey misbehave, you go land with them for hospital o. I beg, no dey too vex, you hear?" Then l will reply, na you go still pay the hospital bill because you and your children wan kill me before my time.😂😂😂. But then, his message has sunk in as it was given out of earshot of the children.

Many of the instances l have taken pains to highlight in previous posts had the backing of hubby. When l finished wrestling my son over the gameshop incident, the next day, the father took him in his car and went there with the boy's two terms result. He met the owner and told him "you see this boy, he is my son. These are his results for two terms now. You can see he is not a dull student but his visits here have begun to affect his academic performance. I am not saying you should not run your business but any time he comes here, don't collect money from him, send him away or else........" I must be very frank, this in no small measure reinforced my own discipline.

One area l must confess hubby really tried is constant use of psychology and brainwashing on the kids. Where l was very physical, he was more philosophical and this helped in no small way to ensure that the kids turned out well. The fatherly input in the lives of the children is very critical at the formative years. Their role is not just material provision. They have the onerous task of supporting their wives in all matters of discipline so that the children will not see one party as the wicked ogre. They will be thankful for it later when the children grow up to be what they wanted them to be.
Happy Sunday to you all, my wonderful friends.

By

Hajara Usman